OCD (əb-sěs'ĭv-kəm-pŭl'sĭv dis-awr-der)

function: noun

definition: when you leave your room, and your mom sneaks in to make sure that your toothpaste is moved all the way up inside the tube.

example:

p.s. love you mom!

The Fro Down: Best afros of all time

If you know me, you probably know that I have a deep-seated obsession with afros. Call me a fronatic, but there is something about a full, fluffy head of hair that drives me wild. Here are 16 of my Favorite Fros of All Time (F.F.A.T):

1. Erykah Badu

Oh baby. It's easy to see why this multifarious mass of hair ranks at the top of the list.

2. Michael Jackson

He could sing, he could dance, and boy he sure could rock a fro.

3. Oprah Winfrey

Call it a marketing scheme, but Oprah's perfectly coiffed 'do created that superb "O" shape that so many have tried and failed to achieve.

4. Snoop Dogg

Hate the man. Love the fro.

5. Alicia Keys

Seperated into 2 symmetrical mini fros, Alicia's approach to the afro genre is both interesting and refreshing.

6. El Presidente

Obama turned heads even back in the day with his hunky head of hair. A sure indicator of greatness to come!

7. Luda

It had me going crazy, oh I was star-struck. It woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks.

8. Bob Ross

A work of art, this Jew Fro was a masterpiece all on its own.

9. Marge Simpson

Vibrantly colored and gravity-defying, Marge's afro is Large and In Charge.

10. Beyonce

Well balanced two-toned fros are difficult to achieve, but this caramel/chocolate combo is so delicious it makes me crave a Snickers bar.

11. My cousin Abdo

Baby fro! Since this picture was taken 18 years ago, I am happy to say that my cuzzo's curls have indeed reached their full potential.

12. Jaden Smith (son of Will Smith)

That lucky, lucky son of a gun. Basically, his life is awesome and his hair is no exception.

13. Lenny Kravitz

What I really enjoy about this one are the textured shape and subtle blonde highlights. Makes me want to Fly Away into that beautiful nest of tresses.

14. Corbin Bleu

This magnificent mane needs a musical all on its own.

15. Khleo Thomas

Making its first all-star debut in the movie "Holes", Khleo's afro has continued to appear in various Disney Channel original movies, and has even started a career in rapping. Swaggerific.

16. Barbra Streisand

For a white girl, that haint too shabby. Yea baaaaahbra.

For tips on how to have an afro of your very own, visit: http://www.ehow.com/how_2057924_grow-afro.html

Happy growing!

Important lessons from How I Met Your Mother

It's one of those shows where you can leave your child in front of the TV to watch it, and it replaces the need for any actual parenting. (See also "Dora the Explorer")

Note to self: Things to do before I die

I'm pretty sure this is a staple of every blog, so let me just get it out of the way real quick:

1. Learn to play the accordion.

2. Get a pet rabbit.

In other news, anyone know the difference between taro root and arrow root? According to my friendly neighborhood produce guy, the arrow root does not exist. FALSE. I just found it on wikipedia.

Turns out I made my low fat penne pasta with this

when I should have used this

But I won't hold it against him, as he is very busy trying to learn 13 languages and doesn't have time for such details. Speaking of which, I am way behind on my French lessons and should probably go parlez vous some francais right about now.

In the words of Drake,

"I shouldn’t have drove, tell me how I’m getting home

I can teach you how to speak my language Rosetta stone"

Au revoir!

What happens when you mess with gravity

I love to travel.

Oooh wow shereen. Neva hurd that befo'. Yea you sooo unique n shiet. So inturresting, no one else likes traveling huh foo

...is what you are thinking. I know this, because it is exactly what people think when other people say boring stuff like "I love to travel."

Sure, your inner head voice may have a different speaking style. Mine just happens to sound like a cross between Nicki Minaj and Malibu's Most Wanted. But we all have the same reaction when people feel the need to, for example, announce on their facebook profile that they love to eat and sleep and breathe and watch tv.

Everyone does it. And no. one. cares.

I'm from the 'Bu foo

But for me, traveling is not just about exploring exotic places, or being immersed in different cultures, or updating my facebook with iphoto-enhanced pictures to make all my friends jealous. That's only about 3/4 of the fun.

What's the last 1/4 of it? The other tiny sliver of satisfaction that comes from packing my bag and leaving for a faraway place to revel in unknown beauty (and most likely subject myself to some kind of food-born illness)?

The airplane ride.

I've done the math. And if I've done it correctly (there is a high probability that I have not done it correctly), I have spent around 914 hours of my life on airplanes. That's a big chunka change, if I do say so myself. And over these 914 hours, a lot has happened- some good, some bad, and some whole bunch of crazy. These experiences have led me to form a theory, which I would like to call Airplane Theory; that is, when you mess with gravity like airplanes do (SH)IT GOES BANANAS.

For proof, please see exhibits A and B below. Or, you can skip the exhibits and read the story of The Disgruntled Flight Attendant. That's a story of Airplane Theory in action if I've ever seen it... and it will probably make you feel really good about your life.

Just saying.

Exhibit A: The Time I Almost Lost my Sanity.

Once, while flying Egypt Air with my family and pals Annie and Stephanie, I was eating a sandwich. It wasn't a very good sandwich. Pretty mediocre as far as sandwiches go. But about halfway through, I put the sandwich down on my tray to look at something, and when I turned back... it was gone. Puzzled, I looked around. I looked under my chair, on Annie's tray next to me, everywhere. But it was nowhere to be found.

Keep in mind that although the sandwich was not very good, I was hungry. And plus it was Egypt Air, so for all I knew it could have been my last chance in life to eat a sandwich. Therefore, I was pretty upset when it just disappeared like that. But I didn't dwell on it, and decided to read a book instead. The book was Harry Potter.

The exact moment is fuzzy to me, but somewhere around the page where Harry lost his godfather Sirius Black to his evil relative Bellatrix Lestrange, I got up to use the loo. And I discovered that one of my shoes was missing.

WTH OMG. AM I GOING MAD?!! I thought to myself. But you gotta go when you gotta go, so I went with one shoe. And when I came back MY HARRY POTTER BOOK WAS GONE.

Things continued to disappear from me and my friends... until we finally realized that the kids in front of us were using their small and nimble hands to reach in between their chairs in front of us snatch things out from under our noses. Thankfully, we were able to blockade the cracks between the chairs and spend the rest of the flight in peace.

And that is the time I almost lost my sanity on an airplane.

Egypt Air: All aboard the crazy train

Exhibit B: The Fight in Row 34.

We were nearing the end of our flight. The flight attendants had just passed out our immigration cards, which everyone was quietly filling out. Row 12? no problems there. Row 22? Not a peep. Fast forward to Row 34, where a big boned Nigerian man decides to start filling out his form on my father's head.

My dad turns around and asks politely for him to please use his tray instead. The man ignores him.

"Excuse me, your baber is on my head, and it is bothering me. Blease move it," says my dad.

"I am filling out my form. Move your head" says the man in a thick Nigerian accent.

Chaos ensues. My dad yells for a stewardess, the man yells for a stewardess. One starts pushing, the other starts pushing, and the man starts yelling "Stop booshing me around!" and everyone is staring. Papers and hands are flying. I've never seen such a sight in my life.

You'd think it would end as we began to disembark from the plane. Nope. The fight carries on even after we disembark from the airplane and walk into the airport, where the man tries to get my dad in trouble with airport security: "He was booshing me around, booshing me around!" but thankfully airport security had the sense to stay out of it, and we went our separate ways.

Airplane Theory. You better believe it.

Mundle bread on Eid: Paradoxical or Str8 Delish?

Every year on Eid al-Adha (Muslim holiday of sacrifice), my mom usually bakes some kind of confectionary delight. Sometimes it's cake, sometimes an Arab cookie known as Kahk (more appetizing than it sounds). Or we just hold off on the baking all together and wait to see what my uncle's wife sends over. But this year, Momz decided to go back to her roots. She cooked up a recipe passed down from Grandma Ruth which was passed down to her from Great Grandma Tilly- The Mundle Bread.

Despite its name, Mundle bread is more of a cookie than a bread- in essence, a Jewish Biscotti. It has a dense crunchy texture flavored with lemon zest and chocolate chips. See below. What is particularly interesting about it, is its inherently addictive quality (is it really just the sugar, Mom?) One bite, and you're hooked.

Bundle o' Mundle

I could wax philosophical about how some may view it as ironic that we are partaking in a traditionally Jewish food on our Muslim holiday. Or I could sit back, enjoy my Mundle and seasonal peppermint hot chocolate, and wonder about why my neighbors still haven't taken down their Halloween decorations yet. Yes, I think I'll do that.

King of kings and cakes

TLC is home to many a great show. What Not to Wear, Toddlers in Tiaras, I Didn't Know I was Pregnant...the list of prime television entertainment goes on and on. But the one that takes the cake? (you'll see how clever that was in a minute)

Cake Boss. (told ya)

This conclusion was reached by thorough scientific research and examination. That is, I watched the show until my eyes became balls of chocolate fondant. But you don't have to take it from me, see for yourself. Or read this list of Top 7 Reasons Why Cake Boss is Currently the Best Show on TLC.

Top 7 Reasons Why Cake Boss is Currently the Best Show on TLC (and possibly better than anything on Bravo)

1. It's a show about cake. And Italians. So basically, The Godfather and Martha Stewart combined into one. To be honest it's an offer you just can't refuse.

2. "John & Kate plus 8" (a previous favorite) has, in a dramatic and tumultuous turn of events, become "Kate plus 8." No one wants to watch a show about a single mother raising 8 children on her own...that's downright depressing.

3. The cake Boss's name is Buddy. As in, Buddy the Elf. As in, the movie Elf THE MOST FANTASTICAL MOVIE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD.

4. "Little People Big World" had so much promise, but has failed to live up to expectations. Farming is boring, it doesn't matter how little the people are who are doing it.

5. Polygamy creeps me out. Automatically disqualifies Sister Wives from the running.

6. Have you noticed that nothing ever looks appetizing on Bravo's Top Chef? Someone's always pairing chocolate with quail and grapes with lamb lung and the winner ends up being the person who sucked the least.

7. Buddy has made my father into a believer. By the end of our 4+ hour marathon, he actually became convinced that making 5 feet long cakes in the shape of a fire engine with burning buildings and smoke coming out the top with sound effects is something out of the ordinary. "Oh," he stated matter-of-factly. "Zis is actually somesing cool."

Imagine that.

Cake Boss: Mondays @ 9/8c on TLC

Why you blawg dawg?

Mostly because my friend Annie is pressuring me into doing it. She has been sending me threatening subliminal messages via text and chat and invading my dreams for the past month.

Maybe a little because it will allow me to keep a diary without having to call it a diary. Blawg just sounds so much cooler and less lame sauce. Plus, the internet is hip, and writing on paper is so 1990.

Henceforthwith, I begin my blawging bonanza.